Currently in Brisbane, Australia
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Sunday 16 August 2009

Money, money, money, its mildy amusing.

I’ve recently been looking into sources of finance for my impending ventures. One of the problems with a multi-destination trip is the variety of denominations which are required to survive in each country. These include the Yen, Won, Yuan Renminbi, Ringgits, Baht, Dong, and 6 different forms of Dollar. That’s +1 to Europe’s single common currency I’m afraid (sorry UKIP voters, I’m sure there are many advantages to cutting ourselves off from the largest trading bloc in the world - just look at North Korea as a shining example of a self-sufficient nation).

Cash is clearly not an option – it’s not insured, most bureau-de-changes offer shocking exchange rates, and I don’t have a wallet big enough to carry that sort of moolah. Travellers cheques bring with them similar disadvantages - despite the fact that they can be replaced if lost or stolen,not only do you get a shocking exchange rate, but the bureau-de-change commits daylight robbery by charging a conversion fee of a few percent.

All that leaves is plastic.

If you’re not careful choosing the right credit card then these can be the most expensive method with interest repayments and loading fees soon spiralling up. However, if you pick the right card and make sure you pay the bill on time each month, credit cards will give you the best value for money on foreign purchases. The best two cards for the job are the Santander Zero and the Post Office credit card, both of which offer 0% interest on foreign purchases and give you the best possible exchange rate! However, they do charge interest on cash advances whether you pay your bill instantly or not. Providing you pay off your debts promptly each month the rate for Santander is 2.045% and 2.008% for the Post Office card, however the Post Office card also charges 3% on all cash withdrawals. If you don’t pay off your cash advances each month then the interest repayments will dwarf the benefits at a.p.rs of 27 and 24 percent respectively.

For cash (which is still king in many Asian countries) the best option is a Nationwide Flexaccount debit card which offers the best exchange rate, 0% on cash withdrawals in Europe and 0.84% worldwide. However, a debit card, unlike a credit card, is NOT covered for incidences of fraud or business insolvency – in this case your money is gone, for good.

Armed with this information I set out into each branch to apply for my preferred plastic.

Firstly Nationwide, who were incredibly reluctant to offer me a card after I mentioned that I wasn’t currently in employment. After telling me that I needed to have regular payments going into the account (which is total bullshit by the way, they just want you to use their account as your main one but there is nothing requiring this in the terms and conditions) they said I was ineligible for a card. Knowing this to be total tripe I informed the young salesman that I currently had significant savings with his organisation. At this point he finally caved in and reluctantly gave me the necessary paperwork. Unfortunately, this was to be a recurring theme throughout the day.

Next, Abbey. After asking for an application I was given the V.I.P treatment and introduced to my new ‘personal financial advisor’, how nice. My PFA continued to give me the supportive treatment, telling me how great Abbey is and how concerned about my welfare they are. After 10 minutes of reassuring sales patter we finally got down to the questions. “Are you currently employed?” As I pursed my lips to respond I could already begin to see the disappointment fall across her face as she realised she’d just wasted her best lines on a financial hobo.

Tail tucked firmly between legs I ventured to the Post Office in hope of reprieve. This application was significantly shorter and straight to the point: “Do you earn more than £8000 a year”. “No? Goodbyyyyyyeeeeee.

Apparently you can’t get any credit without first accumulating some debt. It doesn’t matter about the value of your savings, the number of years you’ve held an account with the company, or you earning potential. This is the first time I’ve really felt the bite of the credit crunch.

Luckily for me, my kind, wonderful, beautifully radiant mum offered to put me as a second cardholder on her new Santander Zero card. What’s that? A free and seemingly unlimited source of finance in my inexperienced hands?! This rounds on me!

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